Saturday, May 06, 2006
january-1-06
smile pitied empty soul.
filter this rotten hole with irony, illusive honesty
disregarding which way to begin with. shy on ends, i know
not to go past the guardrail. you hold it up with your feet
under an umbrella. patient for the weather to change.
you sing not for faith or for prayer, for your own life
is only death fireying the prairie darker. and then you mate
and then you eat her. take down the trees. that's when the real
celebration begins. unconstant, your pledges will fall apart.
and how alert myself may have sent you now. will only sell you
short of all you've saved.
so don't share this time. dont let me talk.
no date] >>>>
i could feel her sharp teeth begging
to pull my fingers up.
her knees trembling, lifting up
making her tight lower end shift
and everytime this happens i get a little stiff
i lower my face and smell it. it looks back;
drooling sweet, anticipating feverishly
in each others gorge,
she becomes weightless
and i am my heaviest.
i try to be quiet while i eat.
i try to suck gentle
and not miss pressure or an inch surrounding or inside
i try to loosen her body
from head to feet
she's so delicate,tender and tense.
i do it all wrong
i'm the only one sweating
it seems.
right now im remembering how you got me those flowers. and i'd cry again. but i don't want to be loud.my arrangements come with suspense.
and my misjudgements are never compromised. i have no showcased assertiveness.
i have a wreckless personality
a wreckless personality.
september-8-2005
Tranquil Calamity / Violent and Angry./The synthesis of dream meets composition of life./Both is survival./ Wishes don't become real because you know its a fantasy that you have./ Its a dream that you have already had.
There's a loss of signal/ Can our esteem ever bring an eternal balance to the attachment we seem to want?/ remoke devotion, and the remorse of function and relation, unbroken/ Graciousness/ Underscore/ tolerable delivery,...of me./ there's no gaiety in this love anymore./ there's only enthusiasm in my sun/ my hand wants to be on your pen, Like i want you to touch me back.
october-10-05
She stepped on the brake.
then her eyes grew dark
and her mouth
was right where i wanted it. so that's what happened.
there was nothing to say
how could i ever tell she'd want to come back
as she left that way
we continued playing, though the 8 ball was sent.
i hoped so much for her.
At the end of my encounter I hadn't found a root.
I layed back, stared out at traffic.
the drug attacked me like a diseased mist.
company dropped the cigarette.
i lit it...after sucking on a flower
like bees feed.
some days after, still nothing to take home.
still missing, longing. the joke that it seemed.
visiting
took out her hair tie.
surprised me again.
i'm drooling.
and i dont know.
tomorrow could sink me. i imagine
bones detatching for one last safe breath.
underwater. picturing sterile clouds.
i'm appologizing, you over-expected
i'm sure..all that you'd got digested.
awful me. ugly addict.
heavy risk. you cant fully seem to add it.
and ill get you something better.
september-22-05
Nevertheless, she denies to progress. so save the rest, you've got to respect. Torn together from questioning me, you forget to question yourself. Life's a hangover, mentioning im scribed by dresscode and limiting noise. Skipping frames, in clumsy motion. the trees wave me bye, with my soiltary attitude. I mean to change it, but you say ill stay a liar. So i collect the frames of the freshest and they seem to harden with justice, so yes I know what im doing. Im making it better for the best of both. yes, i know what im doing. Im resting in my clothes, and soon ill find out what it is i want. And Brave.
A lie and a farce and a fake;
x 7:30 AM
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